Fade
by Satine16
Summary: Jean has been missing for six months. After fighting for so long she can no longer battle the enemy and she begins to fade. SJ.


Title: Fade  
  
by: Satine16  
  
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, they all belong to Marvel. The song is My  
  
Last Breath from the CD Fallen by Evanescence. Please do not sue me as I do not do this for  
  
money. I would also like to say that some of the images in this story are disturbing and graphic,  
  
if you are easily agitated please don't read this and then yell at me! Thanks!  
  
They had been married for merely a year. After years and years together they were  
  
married in the tiny white chapel around the corner from her dream home: she had wanted to raise  
  
a family there and he had promised to buy it for her, once they decided that the time was right for  
  
children. They had started trying shortly after the honeymoon and he kept his eye on the little red  
  
brick house with the white picket fence and tiny flower garden. After three months there was  
  
still no baby in sight, but the house went up for sale. She discovered that she was pregnant that  
  
fall. No woman, or couple could have been more elated. Shortly after their first anniversary, she  
  
went on a detail with Logan. It was a simple mission: the reason Charles let a woman two  
  
months pregnant participate. The two went out to deal with a few kids that needed direction as  
  
they came to deal with their new abilities-hopefully talk the kids into returning with them.   
  
Instead Logan returned on the Black Bird in tatters. His body was recuperating as quickly as  
  
possible, but he was still bleeding and retching madly. He was utterly alone when Ororo found  
  
him: the autopilot was the sole reason he made it back at all. That was six months ago this very  
  
day.  
  
Jean Grey-Summers sat in the pitch dark cell that she had called home for six months  
  
now, mourning the four month anniversary of the destruction of her unborn child. She traced the  
  
jagged scar that ran from hip bone to hip bone, reliving the pain that seared her body as the fetus  
  
was ripped from her flesh. She remembered that her high school biology book had said by the  
  
fourth month of pregnancy the baby could hear your voice, so she sang sweet lullabies in the  
  
deep dark of the night, until she cried and fell asleep. She would feel it move as she sang; the  
  
partially formed little person inside of her. According to the books she had read, most of the  
  
features had been already formed, even teeth were beginning to take shape. The day he tore it  
  
away from her she hardened. The monster that lurked outside had stolen her child, all of five  
  
ounces, and with it had taken her weakness. She no longer feared his icy touch or white hot  
  
knives. The tender curves and long flowing hair that symbolized the love of Scott Summers' life  
  
were gone: and they left behind a mere skeleton of who she was. Her green eyes no longer  
  
vibrant and laughing but now hollow and piercing, her small breasts had depleted and each rib  
  
was now visible beneath a thin layer of white skin and pink scars. Everything changed the day  
  
she chopped her hair off: the long curls that once danced about her waist were hacked to uneven  
  
pieces that barely reached beyond six inches. White light disrupted the blackness of her cell and  
  
two men entered. They strapped her to a cot and carried her out of the room.  
  
Scott had not slept well in half a year. Every day he would look for her, but it was to no  
  
avail. The wind crashed against the walls of the house and the rain pounded on the roof. He  
  
tossed and turned in his empty bed yearning to feel her in his arms again. He could feel her pain  
  
on a certain level. The link they had formed in the years that they had loved one another did not  
  
simply fade away when he was robbed of her. Instead, it served as his only link to her, his only  
  
clue. And he lay restless as she was exploited.  
  
She felt him, she felt his pain and realized that it resided in her abuse and her own  
  
suffering. As the large hands of the men strapped her onto the cold steel table she thought of  
  
Westchester in the fall. Their third date. Lunch in the woods next to the mansion. A picnic with  
  
Scott's only success at cooking, warm chicken sandwiches and lemonade. She had brought the  
  
apple pie. She felt him nod off to sweet dreams of that very moment and held onto the link  
  
firmly as the large door creaked open. His red eyes burned in the dark and his snake like, high  
  
pitched voice rang out, both elements she'd come to despise, the defining characteristics of  
  
Nathaniel Essex. She felt his long, brittle nails as it tore away what was left of her blouse, and  
  
heard him pick up the scalpel, and she gripped firmly onto the autumn that she turned seventeen.   
  
He had just turned nineteen and bought his beloved red Corvette. He told her red was his  
  
favorite color, (being the only color he could see) as he brushed the hair from her eyes, and he  
  
caught her blush seconds before he kissed her for the first time. From that day on she always  
  
managed to slip a hint of red into every outfit. She felt him smile as he remembered her diverted  
  
eyes and sweet taste. Then she felt the scalpel burn a line into her skin from navel to breast bone.   
  
She vowed that Scott would not and she firmly bit her bottom lip.   
  
Hold onto me love  
  
You know I can't stay long  
  
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid  
  
She managed to fade from the physical moment and slip into another realm mentally.   
  
The strongest demonstration of her powers to date. She felt herself, the old Jean Grey, that is,  
  
slip into the arms of Scott Summers as she left Essex' monstrous chamber behind her. She  
  
appeared to both as Scott's withstanding image of Jean, soft arms draped around his neck as he  
  
locked his grip firmly about her waist, her green eyes wide and bubbling with animation, her long  
  
hair running down her bare shoulders and cascading over onto his exposed arms and chest. It  
  
suddenly occurred to her that he was remembering the last time they made love. The last night  
  
she spent in their room. It had taken her awhile to convince Scott that even though she was  
  
pregnant, they could still have sex. He finally conceded to her argument and they didn't fall  
  
asleep until the sun began to peek through the windows. The next day she boarded the Black  
  
Bird with Logan.   
  
Can you hear me?  
  
Can you feel me in your arms?  
  
She was startled back to the present as her breastbone was snapped in two. Icy hot flames  
  
seared through every nerve in her body and she heard the faint cackle of Essex' delight as he  
  
peeled back the skin around her chest cavity.   
  
Holding my last breath  
  
She couldn't reach him as the blood ran new and pain blazed fresh, but she blocked the  
  
wall. Let him continue his fantasy alone. No thoughts entered her mind but the desire to force  
  
away the pain. Nothing in the world mattered now but to halt the raging assault on her being.   
  
She was in no position to stop him, but had always remained stronger than him mentally. He  
  
would not win her over. She would cling to happiness with all of her being, til her last breath  
  
escaped her body.  
  
Safe inside myself  
  
Are all my thoughts of you  
  
Then she realized what was really going on. She was not going to live past this evening.   
  
Essex was tearing apart her frame. She was of no more good to him and he was going to dispose  
  
of her in the same manner he would any test subject, first memorizing every crevice, absorbing  
  
what makes it tick. She didn't become enraged. No fear consumed her being. Remorse was  
  
beyond her now. She had died months ago. Her body was merely giving way now, it could no  
  
longer endure without her mind and soul.  
  
Sweet raptured light   
  
It ends here tonight  
  
She returned to Scott, and the evening from which she was so abruptly torn away. She  
  
smelled his cologne. Felt his thick, soft hair and sensed his strong arms around her again. His  
  
breathing was deep and steady and his smooth, warm chest rose and fell against her small frame.   
  
She was always small against him, her fit torso no match for his tall muscular trunk. He stayed  
  
clean shaven for her: she loved the strong accents of his chin and cheekbones. She never knew  
  
that. Suddenly, many of Scott's thoughts were open to her. Things she had never known before.   
  
Like what had happened to his beloved car. He had sold it. For the longest time he knew that  
  
she loved the small brick house by the chapel, and he needed money for a down payment. As  
  
soon as he heard that she was pregnant he made an offer to the real estate agent in charge of sales  
  
for that building. She accepted it instantly and he sold his car a friend of Charles' who'd been  
  
eyeing it for years. The memory was still vivid in his mind. She watched the content man pull  
  
away in her husband's source of joy and heard him ask what made him change his mind. Scott  
  
plainly replied that some things were simply more important now. After Jean disappeared he  
  
always pushed back the date to sign the papers. He wanted her to sign as owner along with him:  
  
god forbid anything should happen to him. Eventually the house went to the next highest bidder,  
  
and his car was sold to an auto club to be torn apart for its original parts. Jean gasped for oxygen  
  
as she sobbed, but to Essex her muscles had merely locked up in agony. Not knowing that it  
  
came from an entirely different origin.   
  
I'll miss the winter  
  
A world of fragile things  
  
She suddenly found herself clinging to him with every fiber of her being. She could not,  
  
and would not let him go. But with a violent jolt she was ripped back into the reality of Essex  
  
and her ever failing body. Her mind screamed no, but her body pleaded mercy. Her lungs were  
  
barely working and her heart was quickly breaking down. Mind and body only had a long  
  
enough time to say goodbye. She felt him probing around her spinal column, bragging that this  
  
was the first to have lasted this long, and before the pain could return to her she escaped. She  
  
returned to Scott for the final time. They were connected merely for a moment more. She knew  
  
that she would be with him always, as their bond would never be truly shattered. She would live  
  
inside him, a part of him, until Scott too faded from the earth.   
  
Look for me in the White Forest  
  
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
  
He felt her in his arms again, though he knew he wasn't dreaming. He lurked in that eerie  
  
haze between dream and reality. She still smelled like Calvin Klein and lily of the valley. Her  
  
wide eyes still bore emerald fires in his soul, her full lips still roused his most basic desire, and  
  
her tender, slim form still called to him, stirring in him the desire to protect her. He felt her soft,  
  
gentle hand press against his cheek and savored the touch. But then she slipped. She was fading.   
  
He reached out to her but she was just beyond his grasp, as he firmly believed she always was.   
  
He could not grab hold of her. He was losing her once and for all.   
  
I know you hear me  
  
I can taste it in your tears  
  
Jean sobbed inside as Scott's befuddled, tortured form was swallowed in the haze. She  
  
could not return. Her mind was fading now and their powerful link began to diminish along with  
  
her. Tears streamed down her face as she searched in the mist. He couldn't have faded so  
  
quickly. So suddenly. So entirely. She was alone now. It was the final moments of her  
  
existence and she strengthened for her last stand. Essex saw none of the sadness that raped her  
  
mind as he ravaged her body. She simply diminished as he tore her apart layer by layer.  
  
Holding my last breath  
  
Safe inside myself  
  
Are all my thoughts of you  
  
Sweet raptured light  
  
It ends here tonight  
  
Scott tossed in his bed as she began to blur. He felt her evaporate from the very grain  
  
of his body and mind. He was losing her after months of searching. He would never find her.   
  
She would never live in that little house or sleep in that little bedroom. He would never be  
  
allowed the privilege of seeing her rock a baby and sing it back to sleep as he had imagined so  
  
many times after they were married.   
  
Closing your eyes to disappear  
  
You pray your dreams will leave you here  
  
He jolted awake and shot up in bed. The sheets were wrapped tightly around his torso  
  
from his violent turning. His throat was dry. His skin was soaked in sweat. A spectral chill ran  
  
down his spine. He couldn't even cry. He was simply frozen in that space. Unable to function  
  
beyond the beating of his heart and the breathing in of oxygen.   
  
But still you wake and know the truth  
  
No one's there  
  
Ororo, Hank and Logan came to the door and knocked. They had heard him calling her  
  
name. He didn't even know that he had been doing it. He quietly told them he was fine. Third  
  
time in his life that he lied. And he sat in stone silence til mid afternoon. He showered and  
  
dressed as if he was in another body. Everything was alien to him.   
  
Say goodnight  
  
Don't be afraid  
  
He didn't cry until three weeks after. He couldn't. It was as if he could not come to  
  
terms with her leaving. Scott did not know how to live without her. He simply couldn't  
  
function. He lurked in the in-between for those three weeks until he took a walk through the  
  
grounds.  
  
Calling me, calling me...  
  
He came to their old picnic grounds and sat amongst the trees as their golden and red  
  
leaves fell down around him. He twirled a tender leaf between his fingers and let it flutter to the  
  
ground. When he looked up she was there. In her denim mini skirt and tight black sweater. She  
  
had a pair of heels on, she always wore heels once they had started dating, and her hair was swept  
  
up half way with a tortoise shell clip. She laughed and her laughter danced amongst the trees, her  
  
eyes smiled and glimmered, and her body slightly shook with delight. Like when he found out he  
  
was ticklish behind her knees. But then a single tear ran down her cheek, and she mouthed the  
  
word goodbye. His entire body tensed as she began to fade again. The image slowly and simply  
  
drifted away. Scott then cried for her and for their love, for the time they had together and the  
  
time they were so cruelly deprived. Amongst the dying autumn trees Scott Summer's heart was  
  
broken.   
  
...As you fade to black 


End file.
